An Act of Contrition
by Foul Fountain of Flies
Summary: Directionless drabble, in which Kiba’s first impression of his team mates are told and eventually proven wrong. Kiba’s POV. Dedicated to Santeira. One shot.


An Act of Contrition

Disclaimer: Naruto characters and other specific aspects of the anime that may be included in this work aren't mine.

Summary/Description: Directionless drabble, in which Kiba's first impression of his team mates are told and eventually proven wrong. Kiba's POV. Dedicated to Santeira. One shot.

From the heart A/N: Romance here is nonexistent. I've exhausted all ideas for goo-goo stuff, like, already that at the present I'm more inclined to write fics like this, instead of the usual ones I do. I wrote this because I adore Team 8, Kiba most of all. Other than that, there was just the need to honour a request made by a friend; Santeira, darling, I'm so sorry I couldn't make a KibaHina (ideas deserted me!) but I hope this will suffice. In any case, enjoy.

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The sun was closing down with the intensity of night time. Akamaru and I watched as the orange orb started slinking down the horizon. I didn't so much as watch it as saw through it without interest. Somehow I was preoccupied with something entirely unrelated to how beautiful the sunset in Konoha was. The next day would be our first day out of the academy. Excitement fevered my class. There was talk of new instructors and actual missions, but most of all the buzz seemed to centre on the team-ups. I could hardly imagine Akamaru and I being forced in the company of outsiders, who more or less had their own different idea of completing a particular mission. I almost didn't want to wake up the next morning, meeting our new senseis, preparing for a whole new world called being a genin. In contrast to my mother's and sister's stories, it all sounded far from wonderful to me.

When bedtime came I was almost sure I was in a magical bind that kept me awake and thinking all throughout the night. I lay on the bed, Akamaru on my side, sound asleep, with my heart thumping and my mind full of unpleasant anticipation. I have been warned about thinking the wrong thoughts with regard to being a ninja, and if I had uttered out loud the thoughts I was having then I'm pretty sure I'd be warned again, more harshly and more demonstratively than the first time. I wanted to stick to my denial, loyally if needs be, that fun days weren't yet over. But then again, they were officially over the moment I graduated from the academy. And tomorrow, my old age would begin, welcoming me with open arms.

The morning was sunny. I ignored my grogginess with all my might as I clopped down the stairs on the way to the dining room. My mom and sister were quiet while we took our breakfast. I suppose they foresaw I was going to be in a black mood when this day came, having judged my treatment to this whole genin-hood thing as cold and unwelcoming. I bid them a blank goodbye when the meal was over. At that time I wasn't sure if I was getting myself prepped and ready for that day's ordeal. For what it was worth, I followed my feet to where they were bound to, and naturally to where I was bound to.

As I walked past the neighbourhood, Akamaru close on my heels, it suddenly occurred to me that I hadn't yet tried grasping the notion of being a true-blue ninja, and that I only had a very little margin of time to try to. In a few minutes I would be introduced to my team, to my new sensei, to the general orientation of a shinobi's life. I wondered if anyone from my year had the same attitude towards it. I wondered if being a ninja was something you wouldn't accept, get a hold of, unless you thought long and hard about it.

I was late in my arrival, a few minutes or so. When I was led by one chuunin to my group mates and my sensei I almost couldn't believe my dismay. Even Akamaru seemed to express himself likewise as he gritted his teeth and as we neared them. At first sight, Kurenai-sensei looked daunting enough without her makeup. She was pretty but her red eyes, they were like on fire. In one piercing glance, they told me that I could no longer clown around the way I'd always done back in my days with Iruka-sensei. They were, no other terms for it, paranoia-inspiring. With a similar urgency to be paid attention, there was Aburame Shino. What I had so far seen in him I could describe in one short paragraph, I was sure. I clapped an eye on him soon as I thought it was safe to. As usual, a shroud of mystery hung about him. Minimal portion of his skin was exposed and it was quite impossible to read his expression since aside from the fact that the collar of his coat was yanked up to his mouth, he had on a pair of sunshades to prevent everybody from seeing his eyes. I always thought that he was the last mystery in this world that would be solved, if not at all. Then, as if begging not to be surveyed, there was Hyuuga Hinata, looking like she was going to melt to nothing if it weren't for her eyes, which, because they were a Hyuuga's, were too intimidating to keep a steady gaze at. In the academy, she had always kept herself low-key. She rarely spoke, or I rarely took notice. Either way, she didn't stand a better chance than a wayward fly to stand out in a class full of aspiring genins. She was rooted there, erect, with a look that made me think she was compelled to be there, that it was her deepest regret that she had to be teamed up with us, as if she were a nuisance, an inconvenience. Ha! If she only knew how unwilling I had been this morning to go there. There was a temporary temptation to voice this out to her when Kurenai-sensei spoke.

"Make yourself comfortable with each other now that you have the chance." She said with a measure of sternness that often reminded me of my mom. "You three will be together in several missions, in the succeeding years if possible. On special occasions one of you may be sent to a mission where the others aren't. In any case, in the main, you will be together from now own. I want you to understand that teamwork counts the most. Here, in Konoha, success is less rated than the safety of your team mates."

She looked at us, one by one, as though reading our reaction to her words with her X-ray eyes. I was _this_ close to believing that she knew just exactly what was racing inside my head when she withdrew her gaze from me. I might have sighed out my relief but I can't recall anymore. At the following moments none of us breathed a word. Hinata clasped her hands to her chest but otherwise remained silent. Kurenai-sensei went on,

"You can ask questions as we go along. It's not against the rules to ask." She said just then, and for the first time she seemed an approachable human being.

Then, I don't really know what swept over me. Maybe out of long habit of fooling around and being irreverent, I raised my arm and sputtered,

"When's lunch?"

Kurenai-sensei raised an eyebrow to me, rendering her face ten times more ferocious than it already was. She didn't shrug or anything, as is the apt response to my stupid question; rather, she just kept me locked under her gaze. It was too late to say it was a joke, I just knew. I felt a strain among the four of us as though we were all fighting to relax ourselves despite my blunder. For a humiliatingly long while, I stood tight-lipped. Then to my surprise, she said,

"Lunch happens after all the basics are discussed, and the others given an overview, Kiba." She pronounced my name as though it needed exclusive emphasis. She didn't give me much time to wonder at her calmness for she spoke again.

"Now, shall we resume?" She directed the question to me alone, as if the continuance of her lecture solely depended on me, or on my behaviour over which I should by all means have control.

"Okay." I replied. By then I was already partly educated about Kurenai-sensei's house rules. Number one: no asking about lunch unless you wanted her piercing stare stabbing through your guts. That should serve as enough caution. Number two: no gestures of disrespect unless you wanted her piercing stare stabbing through your guts one more time. Number three remained to be seen.

After that she thundered on about things that had been so elaborately reiterated to us by our parents already, provided all of our parents had a career as shinobis. Missions are dangerous. Everyone knew that. Death possibilities are high. Nothing I didn't already know. Failure to carry out the orders means a lower pay. I was told that too. Et cetera, et cetera. The ABC's of being a ninja; I could easily recount them all to her backwards if she desired so.

"And before we proceed to the next topic, I want to tell you all one more thing." Kurenai-sensei announced. This time her face assumed a more serious, ominous expression that I was pretty sure it was the most important thing she was going to say. "You may want to start getting to know each other _profoundly_. In missions, it is advisable, if not required, to value your team mates' lives as much as you value yours or anyone who is most important to you."

Now that was something that wasn't taught me by my mom, or sister. They undoubtedly knew about this, only maybe they didn't feel to be in the right position to tell me. It was too deep, maybe at that time too deep for my shallow and limited comprehension. Still, it shocked me that this job should demand something so large, so enormous from us. I could scarcely picture myself valuing Shino's and Hinata's life as much as I valued mine and Akamaru's. Their lives were a commodity that, although useful, wouldn't matter to me one way or another. It was stupid to take it to heart. How could you love someone you just met? The question choked my throat. I wheeled around me and was further shocked by Shino and Hinata's silent, untroubled acceptance of what was just told them. They just took it in as though what was asked of them was as easy as fetching a kunai from their pockets. I had a strong urge to ask both of them if they'd been told this beforehand, if they knew that being a ninja amounted to that much loyalty. Apparently they had been, and I was the clueless idiot here.

"Alright, everyone. It seems like we've come to a full understanding." Kurenai-sensei suddenly piped in, obviously unaware of my disconcertion. "There's only one matter left to tackle and that is to assign the leadership to one of you. Now please understand that the council, including me, made a careful deliberation in choosing. I hope that whoever among you is chosen, would act accountably; and whoever is not should do likewise…Inuzuka Kiba, you're the leader of Team Eight." She finished just when my ears could hardly register the words. I was quite sure it would be Shino. It stands to reason after all; he had unbelievably good grades at the academy. But me? The perpetual happy-go-lucky? Honestly, I didn't know where that came from.

"Kiba, you have just been announced as leader." Kurenai-sensei repeated to me. I might've been standing frozen all the while, crushed under the weight of my shock. I returned her look then, wanting to ask if it was my punishment for being late or unpleasant a while back, but they seemed somewhat irrelevant. All I had to do was to accept and embrace the damned leadership.

"Now what is your advice to them?" She asked me. It was like she was asking a kindergarten what he'd say to the grown-up person who gave him a piece of candy. I could've almost blurted out the words "thank you" but realised that Shino and Hinata had nothing to do with my election as team captain other than NOT being better than me. I was being a captain for a reason, though I was sure I was going to do it for nothing.

"Uh…do your best…?" I said, now careful to keep at bay any discourteous comment that might come out of me. I was a team leader. It followed that I should act maturely, like an adult. Yeah, an adult. I would go through great lengths to be responsible, grownup-like and good, just like the jounins. I was twelve for crying out loud.

"That's all?" Kurenai-sensei said, apparently expecting a smarter answer. Her voice was about as soft as a rock. And when I nodded to signify assent, she went on, "Alright, I'll leave you three here to talk among yourselves. Tomorrow, the real work begins." She said it as a shadow bore down on her eyelids. I take it that she meant it to sound like our death sentence.

She marched out on us. As far as I was aware, never for once during that brief meeting did she smile at us. And neither did I feel any effort on her part to warm up to her students. I found it simply irrational. When the coast was clear, I turned to Shino and Hinata, with whom I hadn't yet exchanged more than a single word since I arrived.

"Just don't get in my way." I said in the same instant Akamaru barked at them to show authority. Without any more words, I dismissed them. I was fed up of being a leader and I hadn't even started yet. I might've been the one team leader to have the shortest monologue to share with my members. I could see other team leaders still engaged in their duty of instructing their subjects. Some of them looked so into it; some, however, looked as though someone blackmailed them into it. At any rate, they were being responsible at the very beginning. Unlike negligent, untrustworthy ole me. How admirable.

Leaving the place, I didn't look back, didn't even stop to consider what those two would feel about me. I walked out in the same manner I'd walk out of a forgettable incident. I wasn't sure then if giving me the captain's post was meant for me to feel like a new person. If it was, I didn't feel any of it. Being a ninja, I was sure, was something I'd stop becoming as I turned the lamp off at night, and something I would start becoming as I took the first step upon embarking on a mission. I vowed to keep it separate from my personal life, my real life.

Just a few weeks later I was proven wrong.

It happened, I guess, during one of our toughest taijutsu lessons with Kurenai-sensei. It was mid-afternoon. Any normal person would've suffered from heatstroke if he stayed under the sky longer than thirty minutes. The sun radiated with such heat it affected even our movements, not just our throats which were mercilessly parched. Kurenai-sensei's arrangement was in favour of me; Shino and Hinata versus me and Akamaru. I realised that it was the best since Shino wasn't exactly someone who was a taijutsu expert and Hinata's taijustsu, which should have been top of the line, wouldn't even pass for academy level. I, on the other hand, had the most reliable and efficient taijutsu in our year.

The practise wore on until nothing could be asked of us anymore. Whether it required chakra, intelligence, or both, or neither, we could no longer keep up with it. At one point we unanimously stopped the ramble, collapsed on the ground and made inert for sometime. Even if we didn't turn to look at her, we knew that Kurenai-sensei was frowning, dissatisfied. She moved towards our direction.

"Hinata I'm so sorry to have to tell you this, but I think we would have to work more on your speed. You have very great potential, your soft-fist style would take you far, that I'm sure of, but you would just to give some more. Is that clear?" Kurenai-sensei explained in what sounded like a gentle admonition. I always knew Hinata needed assistance somewhat. At first glance I right away took her for someone who would often need people to show her the way. Judging from sensei's softness towards her, the latter might've thought along those lines. Hence her careful handling of Hinata's training.

When she was done with Hinata, she turned to Shino.

"Shino," she gave it a start. "We all know that you're better than most of the first year genins in Konoha. That I can see quite well. But I can also see that taijutsu isn't your forte. You have the speed and strength but your moves are too linear. Now, you and I know that we should change that, and I'm hoping that by the end of the week I would see considerable improvement. In any case, don't worry too much; I think you're getting there."

After that, just when I thought that I was safe she moved forward to me and stopped just short of my feet. I couldn't tell then what she had to say. I wagered she would have to be extremely meticulous and observant to say something not nice about my taijutsu.

"Kiba, great job. But," she paused, I think, for more effect. "I think you and Akamaru are being reckless at times. Maybe you would like to control yourself sometimes, give a room for yourself to think of the next move? I have a feeling you're acting more on impulse than on intelligence."

And she was right; age and experience advantage made her right. Sometimes I overestimated myself; sometimes I thought I was good enough for everything. In any case, apparently, I wasn't good enough for trials like this.

"Team, let's resume." Sensei just said then. Incredulous and pent up, we gaped at her. "I said, let's go."

"We can't." It was Shino who answered. For once I saw a degree of disorientation in his face, guarded as it was.

"What?"

"We used up all our chakra already." Shino explained, and a reasonable excuse he had there.

"We're already behind schedule. You three should've been over this lesson at least three days ago. Asuma and his team are way on the next step and Kakashi too." Kurenai-sensei said. There was an anxious look on her face, too intense that I felt inclined to pity her. But I guess she was pitying us too as we lay half-dead in good view of her due to fatigue. "Why don't we make a compromise? How about you see to it that you get these lessons done at the end of the week? I'm afraid I can't be there at all your meetings as I may be sent on a mission someplace else, but I would check from time to time and if possible, guide you. Otherwise, you're on your own. Is that fine?"

"Yes." We all agreed although we knew it would mean pulling our springs double times. And I knew that hard work was the least I needed then.

"Alright, you can rest now. Are you sure none of you are critically injured?"

"No, sensei."

"Good. Until next time." sensei said and left.

In her absence, there was a sudden silence. It was the silence that constantly threatened to descend upon the three of us when we were left alone, for lack of anything to say or sheer common ground. It was hard to imagine spending the day with Shino and Hinata. Our normal course was silence, else, we would greet each other with a nod, a raise of an eyebrow, a wave of the hand. And just like that the communication was curtailed. Nothing would follow but the silence.

"Let me look at that leg." The voice, ranging from deep to cold, was Shino's. He was referring to me.

"What are you talking about?" I said, half-disbelieving.

"You're injured. Don't think I can't tell by your movements. You're not usually like this."

I stared at him as he stared back at me. Under normal circumstances I would be infuriated by being stared at. But right then, he seemed hell-bent on doing something about it. He seemed purposeful and somehow I didn't see much harm in being stared at, still less by him. There was no argumentative point to bring up, so I just let him. He moved closer to me and checked my right foot. After a while, he declared,

"It's just a normal sprain. It will heal in a matter of few days but we need to tend to it. Hinata, can you get something to bind this foot with?"

Hinata, who was all along watching with a worried look on her face nodded. She pulled out a roll of bandage and an ointment from her bag.

"Here, it should relieve the pain." She said. It was among the rare times when I saw her unhinge her mouth. Then without anyone asking her to, like a concerned mother, she applied the medicine on my leg and carefully wrapped the bandages around my bad leg. When she finished, she smiled meekly and looked down. She had a habit of casting her eyes down that made one want to pull them back up for her, but even then I felt sincerely thankful.

"I was afraid it would worsen your injury if we went on with the lesson, so I just asked sensei to put it off. I hope you would get well soon." Shino muttered. It was not like him to say this, or maybe I just didn't give him enough credit. From the opposite end I could see Hinata nodding in assent when something transpired to me in a flash.

"Hinata, a while ago, were you slowing yourself down so you wouldn't injure me further?" I asked her straight. I just realised that there had to be a reason behind her un-typically unimpressive movements during the lesson.

She blushed as a result, which I took for an affirmative. For a split second more than necessary, I didn't say anything. I knew I would have to say I was grateful for her concern but…

"Don't worry about it, Kiba. Hinata said she was worried she would hurt you during the training. There's nothing wrong with it." Shino said. Yes, she didn't do anything wrong as I did nothing wrong but to dislike her at first. Nothing was wrong, it was good to hear. Everything was hunky-dory. But along with everything I was no longer sure about plenty of things about her or about Shino. I wasn't sure if they were the freaks I made them up to be prima facie; I wasn't sure if I had been entirely right or rational as regards my initial judgments. There was a radical change taking place inside of me. Something, I didn't know if it was my heart, was softening in spite of me. Whereas before I could talk myself into believing that I didn't care about them, now, seeing them this understanding to my cause, I felt ashamed.

"I guess we should call it a day now. Can you stand up, Kiba?" Shino helped me to my feet. The sun's rays were no longer that sharp. But the day stretched endless before us. Then I spoke, for the first time, as their leader,

"We will see each other tomorrow same place, same time. By then, I would be feeling better. Shino, Hinata, let's review sensei's notes. At twelve in the afternoon, real training begins. Is that okay?"

"Yes." They replied in unison.

"Excellent. Do your best." I said just when we fell quiet all at once. Perhaps we were all remembering that day when I was told to give them advice and said to them to do their best when in fact what I meant was that they shouldn't get in my way. I had been ignorant and cruel and bossy just the same.

"Let's keep moving," I said sometime later.

We ambled homeward, the three of us walking side by side, with Akamaru on top of my head. It was the first time I refused to play the part of the regular loner, by walking home with them. As we did so in silence, I thought of Shino, how unlike he was to the person I labelled him to be. I thought of how wrong I was and how much he deserved my apology, although he might not have been altogether aware of my unpleasant conjectures of him. I thought of Hinata, my false accusations of her and of her earnestness, how she would do everything in order to get even just a vague acknowledgment from her big-shot family. I thought how precious she might be if she would try that hard for so meagre a reward. All in all, I thought of how valuable these two persons should be to me. On top of it all, I felt odd that instead of merely guilt, there was ease in my heart. The weirdoes that they were, they no longer existed. They were my hunches, first impressions, not the facts.

We strode further on, slowly, as if we all understood that the time was there to wait for us. And then I just knew that there was nothing I wouldn't give in exchange for their safety.

END

A/N: oh god, this fic is mammoth. I swear I have never written anything this long for a hundred years or so.


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